Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Open Adoption Round Table #33

The newest Open Adoption Roundtable prompt is up! Head over to Production Not Reproduction to read every ones responses!

"What did you learn about open adoption in 2011?"

Wow. I'm not sure I can contain all of what I've learned into one post, but I'll write about the few things that stuck out the most.

Letting go.

Letting go of fear. Fear of opening up too much and then fear of somehow losing touch. I let go of the first fear very early and then when I did the second one appeared. Fear does one thing and that's distract you from what God wants in you life: obedience and faith. I'm really trying to put those things first and trusting God to bring me through my fears.

Letting go of expectations. I think this is a big one for me. I feel like I put high expectations on our OA. Maybe expecting too much. I see now how that's really not fair. *We* may envision things evolving a certain way, but that doesn't mean everybody involved does and that's ok. I guess I'm learning to be content with whats happening and not stewing over whats not.

I've also learned that there are no two OA's alike. Each OA is comprised of individuals who bring their own strengths and weaknesses into the relationship. This goes back to being content and not heaping expectations on your OA. I've done it. I've seen other people's OA situations and really wanted certain aspects for us. But, that's not how it works. We love our Lovebugs birth family and we're happy to have them in our lives in what ever way we get them. <------Learning to be content!

2011 is really just the start for us. We're still getting our bearings and testing the waters. Learning every step of the way.

Overall, we had a great year! 2011 brought us many joys and we're super excited to see what 2012 brings!


  1. Thanks for sharing! This is helpful for me because I just found out today that Kaylee's birthmom is ready to meet with us for the first time. I'm a little nervous about what to expect but thankful that she's open to it. (We have a semi-open adoption.)

  2. I love this...especially about the expectations! I definitely had certain expectations when we first started all of this which have failed in a big way!

  3. Loved this! Beautiful post! I dealt with those two letting go things the first year, as well!