Lovebug turns 1!

For most first time moms, a first birthday is a huge event! Your baby, who just few short months ago was squishy helpless being, is now one and entering into a whole new world: Toddlerhood! It’s a huge change that’s both exciting and terrifying. You mourn the loss of the infant stage and rejoice in the things to come!

I felt all of this in the days leading up to Lovebugs birthday. I’d find myself staring at her remembering the first time I held her. How small she felt in my arms. I tried to remember what those first days home felt like, so new and exciting, but honestly at this point it all seems slightly foggy.  In the days leading up to her birthday, I must have reviewed her first year of life in me head a hundred times as well as the struggles it took to get us here.  All normal Mommy feelings realizing your baby‘s growing up.

The day before her party I was getting things prepared. Cutting fruit for the fruit salad, making pasta for the pasta salad, sorting the napkins out so the over priced 1st birthday napkins were intermixed with the much more reasonably priced solid pink napkins. I was going through it like clockwork until I got to one stage and it stopped me dead in my tracks: The cupcakes. My daughters 1st birthday cupcakes! It hit me like a ton of bricks! I’d baked countless cupcakes in the past, but a last, after years of dreaming about being a Mommy and wondering if it would ever happen, I was making my daughter’s 1st birthday cupcakes! Immediately my eyes filled with years as I glanced over at Lovebug who was happily playing in her exersaucer with a little pink balloon tied to it. She looked up at me and smiled and I can’t tell you how overjoyed I felt in that moment just to be her mom and to be making her cupcakes. How did I ever get so lucky?

How did we all get so lucky? That’s just the general feel of our entire family. There was a time where our infertility cast a huge cloud of sadness on the entire family. They mourned with us as we went year to year struggling to build our family and theirs. And now, here we were.  I’m not sure there’s ever been a baby that’s more loved by her entire family, parent’s, grand parents, aunts, uncles, unofficial aunts & uncles and here we were at embarking on a huge celebration of her little life.

The party itself was awesome! There were about 35 guests and lots of summery foods. We swam. We ate. We celebrated. I think Lovebug was covered with kisses by the end of the day. Leading up to the party I wondered how she’d like everyone singing “Happy Birthday” to her. Turns our she LOVED it! She giggle, clapped and waved her way through and when it ended she signed  “more” like “Come people…one more time!” I think she could feel all the love everyone was exuding toward her that day (and everyday). When it came time for the cupcake, my little foodie took charge! She grabbed it with both hands and shoved it in her mouth! After about 30 seconds sugar shock kicked in and she shuttered as the sweetness hit her, making for some really cute pictures! After about 3 hours of partying Lovebug was wiped and went down for her nap. A few guest lingered and clean up began.

Singing "Happy Birthday"

Love from Mommy and Daddy

That night before bed, we all 3 laid there and Hubby and I just took it all in. Here we were with our baby, our first baby and she was one. We never could have dreamed of what the first year of our childs life would be like and how much we’d actually love her. It’s something you can’t know until your there. You just can’t imagine loving anything this much.  But, in the days leading up to the party we revisited it all and when her birthday came it was like water reaching a boil. All the joy we’d felt all year long came rolling over us as we celebrated the sweetest girl on earth: Our Lovebug!

Come hell or high winds...

This does not bode well for Lovebugs beach birthday bash!

But, come hell or high winds we're celebrating this weekend! I can't wait to sing her happy birthday and watch her eat her first bite of cake! Knowing her she's going to dig in with both hands! 

Last night Hubby and I had an emotional night. We looked through my iPhone at the first pictures we were sent of Lovebug right after she was born and then scrolled through the hundreds we've taken since then. We laughed at how chubby she used to be and cried at how skinny she's getting! We were amazed at how much that little wrinkly little baby looks just like our Isla now, but how when she was that tiny we couldn't imagine what she'd look like at 1. We sat there just thinking about where we were at this time last year and where we are now.

At this time last year we were all sorts of scared and excited. Having gone through a failed adoption prior we were hesitant to put our whole hearts in, but found it impossible not to. At this time last year, C had already had one false labor scare so we were on edge wondering how soon Lovebug would come. Ever day that passed just compounded that anxiety. At this time last year, I would wander into the still babiless nursery and wonder what it would be like to finally rock our baby in the rocking chair or to hear quiet cries coming from the crib. Often just sitting in there dreaming of what could be.

But now, a year later, as I sit and write this I'm surrounded by toys and folded toddler clothes in shades of pink and purple. Where there used to be pictures of just hubby and I, now hangs family pictures with Mommy, Daddy and Lovebug.  The once empty nursery is now occupied by a precious little girl sleeping soundly in her crib and this once broken yearning heart has now been filled to the max, over flowing in fact with love for the baby I prayed for, for so long.

So bring it on Tropical Storm Emily. There's no storm big enough to squash the celebrating we'll be doing this weekend. We're celebrating our girl! Lets party toddler style!

Becoming a toddler

It's so hard to believe that in just a few short weeks our baby will be 1! How did this happen so quickly? How did we become the parents of a toddler?

Lovebug seems to change day by day. These days she all about Daddy! I can remember a few months back, my hubby was so sad that she didn't really reach for him or prefer to go to him. I assured him that it was just a stage that would quickly pass, but he longed for the days when he's return home from work to a very excited baby, dreaming about those days as if they'd never come. We'll babe, they're here! A few weeks ago we noticed that Lovebug was tapping her right ear frequently. I worried that it might be another infection, yet there was no fever or apparent discomfort. We wondered if it had to do with her new obsession over the phone. Was she pretending to say hello? Then one day, after Lovebug and I had been out of town over night, we figure out what it was: as we walked in and she heard Daddy's voice she excitedly started tapping her right ear again while grinning ear to ear and we realized she was signing DADDY! The correct sign is to hold your hand up and tap your thumb on your forehead, but for Lovebug, using her palm to tap her ear seemed best. This is now her favorite sign to do. She askes for Daddy throughout the day, then when he comes home and happens to be in another room she'll ask for him again or if I'm on the phone with Daddy and she hears his voice she'll smile and sign for him. It might just be the sweetest thing ever! It's amazing to see her comprehension of the world around her expanding! I love seeing her brain work and teaching her new things. As sad as it will be to see her infancy stage behind us, it will be equally as exciting to see our little girl grow! *sigh* But, in these next few weeks I'm going to savor this baby stage :)

 

Lovebug and her Daddy :)

 Sweet baby girl!