Word of God speak

Whew. Ever have your plans laid out and then God throws you a curve ball that you have to decide quickly whether to swing at or let it pass you by and hope it wasn't a strike? Yeah, we're there.

Our plans. Let me first start out by saying, you'd think by now we'd know that *our* plans rarely work out the way we planned them. But, our plans for baby number 2 have been that we would start the adoption process at the beginning of summer. We have a few things that we'd like to get done before then, a few which are already done and few that aren't and it seemed like a good time frame.

Well, this past weekend we learned, with out going into too much detail, that there are a handful of babies that are going to be born by May and only 1 family open to adopting them. Hearing this our hearts sank. WE would love to be parents to anyone of these sweet babies, but how could it work in time? Financially how could we raise all the fee's needed, buy all the baby stuff we need, and prepare for another family memeber in just 2 1/2 months?!

Then yesterday, after praying for guidance and asking to hear the Lords voice clearly, I opened my bible to the first chapter of Luke (the next book to read in my reading plan). I couldn't help but notice the theme: in 2 separate occasions angels appeared to announce that a son would be born in an unlikely circumstances (John the Baptist and Jesus) and although in both circumstances there was a bit of confusion, Gabriel told Mary this:

 "For with God nothing will be impossible.” Luke 1:37

Wow! Thank you Lord! The words jumped off the page and straight into my heart. Nothing will be impossible! Not finances. Not life circumstances. Nothing!

Hubby and I are still committing this to prayer, but I know whatever he tells us and whatever our path maybe, Luke 1:37 is a promise straight from God that I will cling to in every circumstance! Praise God!

If you could, pray for us. Pray for Gods clear guidance and provisions. We want His will of our lives and the life of our future child. Pray that His will be done.

Decisions, Decision

International adoption? Domestic adoption?

International adoption? Domestic adoption?

International adoption? Domestic doption?

It's kinda the question of the year at the moment. Sort of.

We're in the mini stages of talking about our next adoption (insert shocked face here!) and although we've just always assumed we'd go the domestic route again, something in my heart it steering toward international adoption. It doesn't seem feasible on so many levels and when I think about it logically, domestic adoption seems like the way to go again(as it very well could be). But, God's stirring something up in me for a reason and I feel it big time. My first reaction with stuff like this is to take action! Read every international adoption blog, find out about different international programs and so on, but I know what I really need to do is be still and let Him lead us...

Lord, as we come to yet another crossroad in our lives, let it be you that guides us. Let not our emotions or brains get in the way, but let us be still enough to hear you, waiting for your direction in our journey for our 2nd precious child. ~Amen

"Be still and know that I am God.." Psalm 46:10

Did you know...

... that in your weakness he is made strong? Did you know that God uses even the most broken people to affect the world and his kingdom?

I'm still doing my Women of the Bible study and although I've been through it before, God is revealing things to me that flew over my head the last time. This week is about Tamar. Did you know that through Tamars bloodline would eventually come Jesus? Did you know also that in order for Tamar to continue her bloodline she had to impersonate a prostitute in order to conceive with her father in law? Sounds like an ancient day episode of Jerr.y S.pringer, no? Well, it's true.

Tamar was first married to Er, the son of Judah (who was Jacob and Leah's son). The bible doesn't say much of Er other than he was wicked and killed for his sins. After Er died, Jacob followed the custom in that day and gave Tamar his second son, Onan, to conceive a child, but the child was to carry on Er's lineage, not Onan's. Onan wasn't down with that, so although he took advantage of the physical aspect of marriage, he always made sure to not conceive a child with Tamar. The bible put's it this way: "But, Onan knew the heir would not be his; and when it came to pass, that he went into his brothers wife, he emitted on the ground. Lest he should give an heir to his brother." (Gen. 38:9) And for his sin, he was also killed. Judah's 3rd son was too young to marry, so Tamar would have to wait for him to come of age to conceive a child. As time passed Tamar was tired of waiting and heard news of Judah's wife passing and his journey to Timnah. She decided to make things happen for herself. She disguised herself as a prostitute, sat by the side of the road and waited for Judah, who upon coming across her took the bait and unknowingly conceived a child with his daughter-in-law.

So what does all this mean? It means that no matter the circumstances that brought you to the place your at in your life, God can still use you for good. Regardless of what you've done. There may be consequences for your actions, and they may really stink, but God still loves you and can and still wants to use you. In Matthew 1 it lists the genealogy of Jesus. Listed there are over 40 male relatives (who had plenty of their own issues) and only 5 female relatives. Of those 5, 3 of them, Tamar, Rehab and Bathsheba were adulterers, prostitutes and murders. But, God chose to use them. Not because approves of their actions, but because in their weakness his strength was made perfect! He chose these imperfect women to bring about his son, the Messiah. If God could use them for the most important event in history, surely he can use you to positively affect the world your in today! Be encouraged!

"And he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness'" 2 Corinthians 12:9

Rachel

Lately I have been doing a "Women of the Bible" study that examines, well, the women of the bible! This week is focused on Rachel and like many of the women in the bible I can relate to her story.

Here's the lowdown on Rachel: Rachel is the daughter of Laban and has one sister Leah. One day Rachel takes her fathers flock to water them and meets a man, Jacob, who happens to be her father, Laban's sisters son (eh, em. Her cousin). Jabob falls in love with Rachel and tells Laban he will serve him for 7 years to marry her. At the end of those seven years, when Jacob thought he would marry Rachel, Laban got greedy and tricked Jacob into sleeping with Leah by disguising her as Rachel. In those days, this meant he was now married to Leah, much to his disappointment. So, to remedy the situation, Laban says (paraphrasing) "Serve me seven more years and you may have Rachel, too". So Jacob agreed and married Rachel as well. Leah went on to have 6 sons and 1 daughter, where as Rachel was barren. At one point, feeling as if her sisters fertility was mocking her own infertility she cried out to Jacob "Give me children or else I die!" She went on to give Jacob 2 of her servants to bare children for her, before it says that God remembered her and opened her own womb. She gave birth to one son and before becoming pregnant again untimately dying in child birth.

So, how do I relate? Well, I'm not married to my cousin and I have no sisters(in my immediate family at least), so I relate to Rachel in feelings about her fertility, or lack there of. Rachel saw Leah's fertility as mocking her own infertility. I can't tell you how many times I felt this. Seeing a smiling pregnant women, would at times feel like a stab to the heart. There were times where I would hear of another women's new pregnancy and feel so much bitterness I couldn't stand it. I echoed the feeling of "give me children or else I will die!" feeling as though my heart would literally break at any moment. But, where does all that lead? Where does bitterness and envy ultimately lead anyone? In Rachels case, is ultimately lead to her own death. Did she seek out what God wanted from her life or was she so dead set on what her own flesh craved that she would do anything to get it?

In my own persoal journey I came to a point where I realized my fertility had become an idol. I obsessed over it, I took time away from God because of it and my heart became hardened.  Letting go of my fertility was a bittersweet time. I had come to the end of the road. I fought so hard to have my way. Would I hold on to my anger and bitterness for what I felt I needed or would I let God lead me in the way He wanted my life to go? I let go. I let God lead me and I'm so happy I did! I cannot imagine my life any other way.

Are you in a place where you feel bitter and angry about your situation? I've been there and I know how it feels. I encourage you to seek out Gods will for your life. Where will the bitterness take you? Where will God take you? Let Him be your guide and I promise, you will not be let down!

Key Scriptures: Genesis 29-35