Rachel

Lately I have been doing a "Women of the Bible" study that examines, well, the women of the bible! This week is focused on Rachel and like many of the women in the bible I can relate to her story.

Here's the lowdown on Rachel: Rachel is the daughter of Laban and has one sister Leah. One day Rachel takes her fathers flock to water them and meets a man, Jacob, who happens to be her father, Laban's sisters son (eh, em. Her cousin). Jabob falls in love with Rachel and tells Laban he will serve him for 7 years to marry her. At the end of those seven years, when Jacob thought he would marry Rachel, Laban got greedy and tricked Jacob into sleeping with Leah by disguising her as Rachel. In those days, this meant he was now married to Leah, much to his disappointment. So, to remedy the situation, Laban says (paraphrasing) "Serve me seven more years and you may have Rachel, too". So Jacob agreed and married Rachel as well. Leah went on to have 6 sons and 1 daughter, where as Rachel was barren. At one point, feeling as if her sisters fertility was mocking her own infertility she cried out to Jacob "Give me children or else I die!" She went on to give Jacob 2 of her servants to bare children for her, before it says that God remembered her and opened her own womb. She gave birth to one son and before becoming pregnant again untimately dying in child birth.

So, how do I relate? Well, I'm not married to my cousin and I have no sisters(in my immediate family at least), so I relate to Rachel in feelings about her fertility, or lack there of. Rachel saw Leah's fertility as mocking her own infertility. I can't tell you how many times I felt this. Seeing a smiling pregnant women, would at times feel like a stab to the heart. There were times where I would hear of another women's new pregnancy and feel so much bitterness I couldn't stand it. I echoed the feeling of "give me children or else I will die!" feeling as though my heart would literally break at any moment. But, where does all that lead? Where does bitterness and envy ultimately lead anyone? In Rachels case, is ultimately lead to her own death. Did she seek out what God wanted from her life or was she so dead set on what her own flesh craved that she would do anything to get it?

In my own persoal journey I came to a point where I realized my fertility had become an idol. I obsessed over it, I took time away from God because of it and my heart became hardened.  Letting go of my fertility was a bittersweet time. I had come to the end of the road. I fought so hard to have my way. Would I hold on to my anger and bitterness for what I felt I needed or would I let God lead me in the way He wanted my life to go? I let go. I let God lead me and I'm so happy I did! I cannot imagine my life any other way.

Are you in a place where you feel bitter and angry about your situation? I've been there and I know how it feels. I encourage you to seek out Gods will for your life. Where will the bitterness take you? Where will God take you? Let Him be your guide and I promise, you will not be let down!

Key Scriptures: Genesis 29-35