Monday, July 25, 2011

Learning to let go...

I've always been a fixer. When I see someone in need, I want to help. When see someone sad, I set out to make them laugh. When a friend needs advice, I'm there to talk them through the mess. When I see someone hurting, I want to fix it. I'm also a talk-it-outer. I like to know where things stand or what the other person is feeling or thinking. It helps me asses the situation and plan for the next step. I guess I feel a responsibility to make things right.

So having this talk it out and fix it personality can create quite the conundrum in an OA. The truth is, I can't fix everything. Not only is it impossible, it's not my place. I'm learning to let go. I'm learning it's not my responsibility to make sure everyones okay. But, it's not easy.

Lovebugs 1st birthday is in 2 short weeks. As of right now I really don't know how C is feeling about it all. I've briefly asked, but I don't want to pry. I've offered an ear, but I don't want to push. I can try to imagine what she's feeling, but how could I ever really know? A year ago, this sort of thing, the not knowing, the worrying, the guessing,  would have drove me batty, but I'm learning to let go.

God sure knows how to stretch us! He knows the place we need to be and how to get us there. And although it might hurt to be stretched, God's just trying to get you back into alignment. You'll be better off for it, if you can just hang on! I'm hangin' on, God, and in the process I'm learning to let go...

1 comment:

  1. girl, I am totally the same way! and OA definitely stretches a person like us!!