It's (gonna be) a secret!

Ever feel like your very private family building experience is so public? I know I do. Everyone knows your adopting, your waiting, your matched. You deal with agencies and social workers who discuss the ins and out's of personal details and plans. It seems theres little left to savor as a family unit.

Part of it is a good thing. I think bringing a face to adoption and showing the world how awesome it is, is a great thing. Everyone has those "you know I heard so & so adopted and..." horror stories, but do they really know "so & so" or has that just become the Big Foot story of adoption? So when it comes to this aspect, I'm glad to share our positive experience with adoption and open adoption.

But, when I think about our 2nd child I find myself wanting to keep some things just between us... you know like a couple who just found out they're pregnant does. Sneaking smiles at each other around family, knowing they have a little secret that nobody else knows.

I also always dreamed about waiting to find out the gender of our child. My parents did that and growing up my dad would always tell my about when I was born  and they brought me to him, they said "Congratulations, you have a daughter!" and his world flipped upside down (in a good way)! My mom would have loved to tell this story, but this was in the age of general anesthesia c-sections...so she was out of it for a while :) Anyhow, hearing that story always made me want that surprise. The joy of someone in the delivery room screaming "It's a....".

I can't foresee that happening with an adoption, so Hubby and I have derived another plan: when we are matched next, we'll tell family about the match, but when it comes to the gender and names, well that's gonna be our little secret!

As the months get closer to when we'll start again, we're getting more and more excited! I can't wait to see Lovebug as a big sister! I can't wait to cradle a precious squishy baby again. Memorizing a new little face, hands and feet. I can't wait to see Hubby with both of his kids cuddling in his lap! And now I can't wait to see our family's surprise when our new addition comes home and we're able to scream "It's a....." just like I always dreamed of!